Pep Talk: You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Pep Talk: You're doing better than you think. - Melinda Massie blog

Aaaaaaaah the New Year. Time for an overwhelming amount of "New Year, New You" garbage.

Wait…garbage?

Garbage.

Because most of it is designed to make us feel bad about ourselves so that we’ll jump onto a beginning of the year bandwagon and buy whatever the product du jour is.

Now look, I'm the last to begrudge anyone that wants to use the fresh energy of a fresh year as the time to make a start on something they want to do. Many of us do it, myself included. And beginning of the year was easily one of my busiest times of the year as a professional organizer.

And February was the slowest soooo…


Truth is - you’re probably doing better than you think.

Yes, really.

A few weeks ago, I did a 3-day juice cleanse. Now these aren't really my thing. I'm a "give your body the proper food it needs to take care of itself and then let it take care of yourself" kind of gal. But I'd also always been a little bit curious about these things, so when I won a free juice cleanse from a delicious juice shop in town, I was happy to have my curiosity satisfied.

And you know what? It didn't suck.

Before I embarked on this experiment, I read every "I tried this" article I could get my browser on. Most said they had a miserable first day or so. I didn't. And let me tell you, it’s not like I’d abstained from holiday over-indulgences prior to said cleanse.

Ahem…

That's when I realized that I eat FAR better than I give myself credit for...indulgences or not!

And you know what? The same is probably true for you too in whatever areas of your life you think are lacking.  

We all are our own harshest critics…and that’s especially true for performers.

After all, we're constantly told that we're not the right look, size, style, voice, hair, or whatever the hell else that was the invisible dream the director had in their head that day.

When I was a flute player I was told I needed a stronger core. (Even if I was always able to do what was asked of me.) When I was a dancer, I was constantly told I wasn't strong enough - I needed a stronger core. Back. Ankles. Arms. (When again, I was always able to do what was asked of me.) I internalized all of this and told myself that I wasn't strong enough, too.

However, as I've gotten older and have noticed that I can't do things as easily as I could back then, I realize how ridiculously - and needlessly - hard I was on myself.

 

Note: yes, as performers we want to always be improving our skills. But there’s a difference between a healthy outlook towards improvement and beating yourself up that you’re not enough of whatever it may be.


 

I saw a similar flawed perspective as a professional organizer as well. In 99% of the homes I entered, the state of clutter wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it was in my client’s head. Even the hoarders.

We truly can be our own worst enemy.

So remember, as we go from the holidays into "New Year; New You" season - or as many friends think of it, the transition from audition to PFO season - you're doing better than you think.

Make improvements where you think necessary. Take actions towards your goals.

But don't beat yourself up for your present state either.

This starting place is as good as any.

Currently feel as though you have zero of your shits together?

Here are few things you can do to feel better about your current state:

  • Take stock of your accomplishments. Can't remember any? Ask a friend to help you out.

  • Want help remembering in the future? Start a happy jar. Every time something good happens, write it down and stuff it in the jar. Pull out the notes the next time you feel like crap.

  • Create a “happy file” in your emails. Every time you get an email with compliments or other notes that make you feel good about yourself, tuck it away in that file.

  • Seek out social proof. When you rack up rejection after rejection it's easy for negative thoughts to invade. Look for the stories of triumph over adversity, people who are doing what you want to do, people who’ve overcome what you’re currently going through. The fabulous thing about having about a kajillion people on the planet is that there is someone, somewhere, who can relate to what you’re going through. Find those positive stories. Some of my favorite stories include people who didn’t become really successful until later in life. (Especially helpful for older performers and anyone making a career change.) When you search for these stories, you’ll find them everywhere. Like in the comments and retweets of this tweet:

 
 

(Tuck these reminders away for when you’ve had a bad audition, received yet another PFO, or need a little pick-me-up.)

Want to start something new this year but feel awkward about it? (Like maybe marketing yourself?) Embrace the awkward! None of us get better when we don't try. (And also feel free to contact me for help.) So get out there and get started!

As you embark on your new year, and make mental notes of improvements you want to make, remember that you're probably doing better than you think!

What are your goals for this year? Share them in the comments below so we can cheer you on!

Have some marketing goals you need help with? Contact me today and let’s see how we can make them happen!